Treat Yo Self

On Sunday I had my graduation ball. I loved it, it was so nice to be with all my course friends and celebrate the last 4 years of hard work. For the ball, I've had a big week of treat yo self, and I am really not ashamed of this.

So many people get guilt tripped or asked 'isn't there something better for you to spend your money on' when you want to splash out and make yourself feel amazing. No one should be made to feel like they have done something wrong for spending money on themselves. Whether it's buying that new eye shadow palette or getting your eye brows threaded. If it makes you feel a million dollars and you can afford it, then do it. The beauty industry is always seen as quite frivolous and not one to be invested into, with many people around me being made to feel like airheads for enjoying beauty and it should not be like that. Everyone should be supported and encouraged to do whatever makes them feel good and happy.

For the ball I had my nails done, my eyebrows threaded and legs waxed, I've fannied about with tan (lol you can't see it because lol I'm so white like snow) and got my make up done. I felt incredible. Yes this has cost nearly £75 in total (plus whatever I spent on my outfit) but the affect these treatments had on my confidence on the night are priceless. You can't buy confidence, but you can at least buy products and services to help boost confidence, and I will never be ashamed of that.

The moral of today's story is that you should never, ever feel guilty for spending money on yourself if it enhances your life, even if it is in the most tiny way possible.

Lots of Love,

Hev

xoxox

My First Foray into NYX

For years I have been trying to get my grubby little mits on NYX, I could never afford the shipping and I completely missed them when I was in New York; but now they have landed in Boots and I couldn't be happier.

My first purchase was the infamous Taupe Blush, a fabulous pale person contour shade. I have been using this for a while, I like the product but I hate the packaging. I have to open it with my tweezers or it pulls off whatever nail varnish I'm wearing at the time! The product inside is a cool toned, almost rosy brown, which has worked well when tasked with thinning out my fat face. I still think I prefer some of my other contours over this, it might be because I haven't found the perfect brush for the product. For the price range it sits in, it is a must for the ghostly pale!

My second trip to the NYX counter has consisted of Soft Matte Lip Cremes and a Liner. The lippies are in the colours Cannes and Stockholm. Cannes is more of a pinky brown and Stockholm is more of a orangey brown shade.

The lippies smell like marshmallows and have a nice, thick consistency. They are ridiculously easy to apply to the lips. On application, the Stockholm shade is almost like terracotta, which is quite harsh on my colouring unless I go heavy on the bronzer. I also bought a liner in the shade Nude Suede Shoes, which is an almost perfect match to Stockholm and will work well with MAC's Velvet Teddy too. The liner is soft, yet when dry does not budge!

Stockholm

The Cannes colour is more pink and easier to wear on paler skin. It has the same consistency as Stockholm and on my skin is probably the easier to wear of the two.

Cannes

So far I am very happy with these products and want to build on my NYX collection. If anyone has any suggestions feel free to leave them below!

Lots of Love,

Hev

xoxox

I Think I've Become One of Them...

With personal posts like this, I'm always very wary of promoting them. It's one thing to write about your life and click post, and it's another to want to actively distribute it and say 'I'm here!'. This post might be one of the first personal posts to ever make it to my 'promote to the hilt list'. Over the past couple of weeks, I think I have actually started to understand the allure of the blogging world.

Now don't get me wrong, I've been following blogs for years and I am well aware of all the perks that seem to come with getting a lot of followers, but I never really saw what was in it for the little guys. You know, the ones like me, who aren't in it to become 'famous' or to get free stuff, but blog as a vent and a hobby. I never really saw what sporadic bloggers like me could gain from actually having a 'schedule', but it has dawned on me that there is quite a bit.

Over the past week I have been investing quite a sizeable amount of my time in my blog. I don't have a monkeys whether it is just because I actually have time, or whether it is because I am starting to see more that I can get out of it. I've even given myself a schedule *gulps* (Tuesday, Thursday and a video Sunday, personal posts whenever, if you were curious which I just know you were).

I have seen quite the change in me. I have been active on my blogs social media (hit me up on Instagram or Twitter if you're so inclined), something I never do because I am so lazy to the point where it is actually pathetic; to taking my own bloody stock photos. Stock photos!!! So that my post like these aren't so god-damn boring and are more eye-catching for people to look at. I've even finally figured out how to use Google Analytics and how to use internet recipes.

I keep wanting to eye roll at myself constantly; but at the same time, I actually feel proud of myself *sicks in mouth*. I'm proud of myself for actually sticking to something for at least a week, for actually bothering to record and edit videos, and for bothering to pull out the nice camera to do stuff instead of just my iPhone. Maybe it's because I found out my other sister Caitlin reads my blog too, Maybe it's because I've sort of learnt how to use semi colons. Who knows? But weirdly I'm enjoying it, and I totally get why people get so sucked into this life.

I'm quite sure I will never be one of those sugar coated bloggers with the perfect feed and the perfect content because well ain't nobody got time for that, but I do hope I continue to interact with other bloggers of my size and a little bit bigger, to help each other and support each other.

I may look back on this post next week or next year and laugh at myself, I might have fallen out of love with blogging, I might be a multi millionaire blogger (we can always dream of the millions can't we?) but I do hope this little period of enthusiasm keeps up, because I really am enjoying myself.

Now I am off to go edit the stock photo for this post. I hate myself.

Lots of Love,

Hev

xoxox

L'Oreal Make Up Haul

You know when you think you can just innocently walk into Boots to get some deodorant and shampoo but end up walking out with an emptier bank balance than you anticipated? Well that's how this haul began. I was left alone by the L'Oreal stand, which just happened to be on 3 for 2...

My purchases were the Lumi Magique Pure Light Primer Base, the Lumi Magique Highlighting Pen in 1 Light and the Infallible Fixing Mist. Two of these products I love, the third has been a huge disappointment.

Lets start with the good stuff shall we?

This is my first foray into the Lumi Magique range and so far I am impressed. The highlighter pen is light enough to match my NC10/15 skin with ease, whilst also doing a great job at brightening my under eye. Playing with the product on my hand now gives a very lightweight texture with some good coverage. I would say the colour verges on the salmony side, great for brightening and colour correcting the under eye. The product lasted flawlessly under my eyes on my most recent evening out for about 8 hours, pretty darn impressive. As with all highlighter pens I would not use this on my spots. This is a product I am really looking forward to continuing to play with!

The Lumi Magique Base gives such good glow *inserts picture here of my glowing like an angel has embraced me*

Having had oily skin all my life I have always steered away from products that give off a glow, but this one is lovely. The product is thin, doesn't give any colour and imparts such a beautiful almost pearly sheen underneath your foundation. The product also made my foundation sit beautifully on my face and helped prolong it's longevity, a complete win in my books!

Having saved the worst until last I will now talk about the fixing spray. I bought this because my Urban Decay Setting Spray ran out on me and I wanted to try this to see how it compared. So I bought it, set the above make up with it, following all instructions and I was left with lots and lots of tiny white powdery blobs all over my face; blobs that i had to dig my nails into to get them off. Safe to say I was not impressed. Since then I have found many other people with this problem, so L'Oreal really need to get to the bottom of this. I've even emailed them about this as I am so disappointed. I love the brand and this has put a serious dampener on them for me.

If you try any of the products please let me know how you get on with them!

Lots of Love,

Hev

xoxox

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

When OCD decides to enter your life, it does so without warning. It just jumps right into your brain, straight into your fears and sits there, mingling and merging with everything you are scared of the most.

I was 11 when I got my first bout of OCD, it happened after someone described some horror film to me and it stuck to my brain like cement. My body had the first of many panic attacks in the middle of an English lesson. My brain was flipped over, never to return to normal again.

It took me a good few years to condense my OCD down to something manageable, something that would only rear its ugly head for about 5 minutes every night; I could say my piece and it would recede, back into its little cupboard inside my brain.

I was 17 when it came back for a second round. It was one of them stupid Facebook pictures that set it off, one of them pathetic "if you look at this you'll die in 7 days" pictures. For any person without my OCD, that wouldn't bother them, but for me, I was convinced I was going to die. That same week, an advert for a horror film along the lines of the film that set my OCD off all them years ago came onto my screen and the OCD gremlin just flowed straight back into all the nuts and cranny's of my brain. I couldn't escape it. I had to sleep with my sister in my room, with the TV on and the lights blaring, most of the time with the door open too. I had my brain in an OCD vice.

It took me a long time to tell my sister what was wrong with me. I used to scream and cry at her not to leave me because if she left me then something would come out and get me. I wore cross earrings and a necklace for a very long time, even getting a cross tattoo to make my brain feel better, and make me feel like I was protected from all the evil out there.

The bout when I was 17 took me by surprise. I was so upset with myself that my brain could let it get that bad again, I thought I had it all figured out with how to suppress it. Clearly I was wrong. The angle that it came back changed, it started to include evil people from the news; if I heard a name I had to match it with someone's name who I knew to be good. I still have to do that now. This time I had found out what was wrong with me, scrupulosity OCD. My brain is obsessed with religion, death and trying not to be possessed. It's very hard to live your life when you permanently think something has got inside you and you're not yourself any more.

Again, I managed to suppress it again, this time with new rituals to keep it at bay. A great day was only thinking about it once or twice a day. Of course I had mild flair ups when stressed or something was going wrong in my personal life (as it so often does) but I managed to keep it at bay. I managed to start sleeping on my own again with only a lamp on, a vast improvement for me.

So why, with all this compression, has it managed to try to trickle back into my life for a third time now? All this week there has been hints of its re-emergence, things that grasp onto my fears have been floating around in my head before I try to sleep. I've just had a lovely evening with two of my friends watching the X-Men trilogy. Lovely, except for during the last film I had my first panic attack for a very long time. My panic attacks don't come with heavy breathing into a paper bag; they come with my entire body tightening, my nerves standing on end with me having to incessantly chant my chants at myself to shut it down, all the while still checking its me in there still. Three hours later I'm still feeling the effects and my brain is going at 10000 miles a minute, trying to come to terms with what has just happened.

For the first time in months I've had to use my rescue remedy and caught myself pinching my skin to see if its me. OCD is hard because you know you're being ridiculous, yet there seems to be no manual override button to stop it, no matter how much you know your brain is playing tricks and games with you.

I can't go back to this life. I've fought so hard to keep it at bay for so long and I don't think I can handle a third bout already. I've always known this gremlin will always be a feature in my life, but I prefer it as a back ground spectator rather than a front row guest. In the morning I'm phoning the doctors and I will try to put this bout to bed before it takes over my life again.

Lots of Love,

Hev

xoxox

The Products You Need to Make Your Makeup Last All Night

Many times I have been on a night out, got far too drunk and woken up with a mouth like sandpaper, but my make up has been perfect. It has taken me some time to figure out the perfect products for making my make up last all night, but I've finally got there, and thought I would share them with you all too.

The first step is priming. Priming is crucial. Priming gives you a great base for make up and also gives guaranteed longevity if applied correctly. If you have very oily skin, a facial primer is brilliant. I used to swear by the Laura Mercier Oil Free Primer when I had very oily skin before the pill. A foundation that suits your skin is also a key step to longevity. I am currently using the Revlon ColorStay Makeup for Normal/Dry skin in Ivory, which is a great, long lasting yellow based pale foundation.

The eyes. I have always had to use a primer, I remember buying my first Sleek palette and it just slipped straight off my eyes because I had not discovered primer by then. When I did, it was with the Urban Decay Primer Potion, the ultimate hands down best primer I have ever used. Make up does not move with this underneath. It is a product I will never be without (so much so I have about 4 bottles in my collection). Another great primer which I tend to use before a night out is MAC's Pro Longwear Paintpot in Soft Ochre. A fabulous yellow based formula, which is creamy then dries to an almost powdery finish. This primer works best with a touch of neutral eye shadow over the top to prevent dragging.

Powder is a brilliant way to lock your make up into place. I am a powder addict and I love the feeling of having a really powdery face (I know I'm a freak). A loose powder is great for all over powdering. If you only want to set certain areas, baking is great for really locking that make up in. I use the M&S powder but I'm pretty sure it's discontinued which is really annoying as it was so cheap!

Finally, setting sprays are your best friend. They come in a variety of finishes and price ranges. I use the Urban Decay All Nighter Setting Spray which I find to be fabulous and helps set my make up in place like concrete.

So there you have it, my top tips and products for making your make up stick to your face like super glue!

Lots of Love,

Hev

xoxox

Video: My Make Up Collection and Storage at Uni

My foray into the world of You Tube has started once again, this time I have eased myself in with a make up collection and storage video. This one features how I store my make up and skincare whilst I am at university. Please take a look and like and subscribe if you fancy it :)


Lots of Love,

Hev

xoxox

Kiko Nail Laquer in 375 Bois De Rose

We meet again Kiko. Bois de Rose just happened to fall into my basket when I was in Meadowhall's new Kiko a couple of weeks ago. This time with this gorgeous pinky brown rose shade that is terribly applied to my fingers right now. I brought this shade about 2 weeks ago, wearing it whenever I have worn nail varnish. It is the same great Kiko formula, lasts a good 4-5 days without chipping and before my incessant need to pick stuff gets the better of me. Just like my previous Kiko reviews it is a fabulous nail varnish. You can buy it in store or here where it is currently on offer for £2.50. A great colour for this glorious weather we've been having in the UK!

Lots of Love,

Hev

xoxox

University and the Blog

So I've finished Uni! A time that I never thought would arrive has, and all I have to do now is wait for my results. I'm pretty confident I will finish with a 2:1 which will make all my dreams come true.

So for the blog, my goal this summer is to focus in on my blog and try to develop a proper, semi regular, schedule. I by no means want to become some super blogger you see everywhere, but would quite like people to nosey on in and interact with me! I will be trying to step up my social media game on twitter too (I cannot guarantee you instagram soz) and try to connect with like minded bloggers, who dabble in beauty but mainly want to waffle on incessantly about their lives. I also have the camera off my sister, so I am hoping to actually make some more poorly edited beauty videos. I find it much easier to talk to the camera about beauty than actually write about it, and it is definitely a more fun process for me. I am also going to be dabbling in trying to make my blog as elegant and sophisticated I can make it with my very limited coding skills!

So there you have it, hopefully there will be some fun content (lol) coming your way from me in the next few weeks, so that I don't just spend my entire summer reading Game of Thrones theories...

Lots of Love,

Hev

xoxox

p.s my twitter is @livingheather and my instagram is also @livingheather

Lets Catch Up on the Week

The events of the weekend have thrown me completely off course. I wrote about them in detail in a blog post that I am still unsure whether to post. Its so raw and personal to me that at the moment I couldn't face anyone but myself reading it. I'm meant to be revising for tomorrows exam yet I'm sat in bed crying over the fact that wouldn't it be nice for someone to want to come and see me? Actually want to be around me romantically and not just sexually. It would be nice to not just be used for when someone else's life is going down the toilet. I'm having a very hard time getting over the weekend and what happened because it just pulled back to the surface so much hurt, anger and upset on my half. I highly doubt through all the apologising the other half ever gave a shit. It's nice though to now have a valid reason for pure hatred so there is a positive in all this. I think I've had a lucky escape.

I finish Uni tomorrow and I am absolutely terrified. The dog was in my family home again and I did well, until the dog jumped on me and then it all went very south very, very fast. I overdid it and need to take slightly more baby steps around Louis.

I've finished at the dermatologist, theres nothing more they can do for me. Could they have not just told me this on phone? Instead of wasting valuable revision time travelling to the 10 minute useless appointment from Sheffield? I've now got to wait for the Acute Trust to get their act together and send me an appointment, which is currently 10 months after they should have...

Now I've pulled myself together a bit I can face revising the absolute joys of food adulteration *yawns*.

Lots of Love,

Hev

xoxox

Revision, My Gripes with Vlogging & Blogging and Traffic.

Hi everyone and I hope you're all well. Today's post is brought to you by a Hev who is trying to not crumble under revision stress. I have an exam in approximately 12 hours *gulp* and I'm not confident at all. I know basics of what I'm probably going to get asked but I am royally shitting it. Why anyone needs to to know about the Olfactory system I do not know. 

My little old blog seems to actually be generating traffic. Not big league stuff but views every day. Views from websites that look quite suspicious to me but traffic is traffic. I just hope I'm not getting used as the face of porn or a gateway to other horrible things!

Recently my annoyance at 'bloggers' and 'vloggers' has been increasing rapidly. I got into the whole community through finding Pixiwoo's videos on Channel 4's website (in sixth form?) and was hooked from there. That's a really long time. There is people on the internet I've watched from their first or second video and thought I would be with them throughout their You Tube careers. I've witnessed many people who I used to love (looking at you Tanya Burr and co) change completely to something I cannot relate to or quite frankly stand to watch. I know this is a stance many people have now about the whole You Tube community but I don't think its an opinion that is gonna go anywhere any time soon. I find it really quite unnerving and uncomfortable seeing grown adults morphe from adults to some quasi like child as soon as they get slightly famous. I get that 'creators' (I don't really get any of these names they get labelled with) need to appeal to the people who are watching their videos and are ultimately buying all their merch, books and beauty lines, but there comes a time when you actually have to appear to be a 'real' person; instead of this completely transparent fakery that so many are displaying. If you want to be so outwardly and obviously fake then go ahead! Just do it from the start of your channel instead of from when your management want you to appeal more to young impressionable teenage girls.
It just makes me embarrassed to see grown adults dumbing themselves down for money. I get uncomfortable seeing so many 'trying fish sweets from Taiwan' and 'whisper in my ear and make it look like a barrel of lols' challenges constantly appearing in my subscription boxes from the same unoriginal You Tubers over and over again; You Tubers that when I subscribed in the first place and were a lot smaller, were actually producing funny, watchable content. The constant smugness from these 'vloggers' also irritates me no end, yes we know you live in million pound houses ans yes we know you're the ambassador for Americas fungal nail crisis but please, stop pushing it down our throats 24/7. My last gripe of this rant is at the internet famous who think they're actually famous, who are constantly tweeting about how much they loved meeting this celebrity and how they're such great friends; yet they never seem to get a reply, never seem to be seen anywhere with them or have photos with them outside blogging events *inserts thinking emoji here*.

Well that feels nice to get off my chest. I think its great that these people have managed to create an amazing career out of You Tube but I think that the dumbing down and pedanticness it has cost them hasn't been worth it.

See you after exams!

Hev

xoxox