I'm an emotional wet fish today. I'm on, for the second time in 2 weeks and I'm a mess. I am sick to death of rifampicin wreaking havoc with my periods. To go from a girl who, since the age of 11, has been regular as clockwork, to having periods that show up willy nilly is soul destroying. Hopefully when this bout of tablets finish they will finally go back to normal. I also had my first HS boil since I started rifampicin which actually burst this week, which just made me feel even worse. I'm taking these tablets every day to try and fix myself and it crushes me that they are not working to their max (I know there is a % that it doesn't fully work for and I'm just upset about it).
I've just read a book all about unrequited love, and it infurates me that they don't get together until they are fucking 40 years old. My favourite books to read are unrequited love ones, preferably set when they are at university (don't ask why). I think they just resonate with me the most. I've been in so, so, many situations where I have liked someone and they don't like me, or don't like me enough to want to make something happen with me, that I cling on for dear life to the happy endings in these books. I want my happy ending. I would just prefer it to be slightly earlier than 40 please.
I finally found the dress for the graduation ball, will have to lay off the KFC for a few weeks but it makes me feel sexy. I'm gonna guess the photos of me will make me look horrendous but its the inner feelings that count, right?
Well now I'm crying, I am blaming this solely on the period. I'm going to watch a film about unrequited love, make myself some toast and eat my body weight in chocolate.
Night world,
Hev,
xoxox
Thursday 31 March 2016
Monday 28 March 2016
Uni Ramblings
I'm currently sat in bed, writing this blog post, looking at graduation ball dresses; trying to avoid my life. The last month of university has approached. It worries me. I feel like my life, my beautiful life that I've built up over the last 4 years is about to get dragged from under me. I'm scared that I won't see my friends any more. I'm scared about going into the big wide world, at 22, I still don't feel remotely ready. I feel very much in limbo, between how life is now and how life will be, come 12pm on the 11th May, when I have no right to call myself a student because it will all be over. I just want to cling onto life how it is now in my house with my friends in Sheffield. Is that too much to ask for?
My dreams are currently hurting my feelings, get out of my head please. I rarely think about it any more yet my dreams bring me right back there most nights and it does my head in. My OCD is starting to rear its ugly head again, not in a full on episode thank the Lord baby Jesus, but in a I'm gonna crop up in your life more than just a couple of times a day way. Sometimes I am using rescue remedy again, which for the last few years luckily has just been consigned to when I go on a plane. I'm going to take a wild guess that it is just stress that is causing this mild little flair up. It's not nice to have the feelings of having a panic attack back again.
I decided this week that I don't think I will ever be able to move home 100% again. I couldn't take being trapped here, constantly arguing with my brother and dad and having limited to no social life unless I traipsed back up to Sheffield every weekend. Of course I will have no choice in the matter if I don't get to teach and I don't get a 2:1 so I don't get 9 grand, which is making me try to work much harder than I ever have before.
I'm going back to Sheffield tomorrow and I cannot wait. I am going to make the most of this last month, even the library...
Lots of love,
Hev
xoxox
p.s. I won 6 chicken nuggets on McDonalds Monopoly and I was so ecstatic, it was like winning the lottery for me *crying laughing face emoji*
My dreams are currently hurting my feelings, get out of my head please. I rarely think about it any more yet my dreams bring me right back there most nights and it does my head in. My OCD is starting to rear its ugly head again, not in a full on episode thank the Lord baby Jesus, but in a I'm gonna crop up in your life more than just a couple of times a day way. Sometimes I am using rescue remedy again, which for the last few years luckily has just been consigned to when I go on a plane. I'm going to take a wild guess that it is just stress that is causing this mild little flair up. It's not nice to have the feelings of having a panic attack back again.
I decided this week that I don't think I will ever be able to move home 100% again. I couldn't take being trapped here, constantly arguing with my brother and dad and having limited to no social life unless I traipsed back up to Sheffield every weekend. Of course I will have no choice in the matter if I don't get to teach and I don't get a 2:1 so I don't get 9 grand, which is making me try to work much harder than I ever have before.
I'm going back to Sheffield tomorrow and I cannot wait. I am going to make the most of this last month, even the library...
Lots of love,
Hev
xoxox
p.s. I won 6 chicken nuggets on McDonalds Monopoly and I was so ecstatic, it was like winning the lottery for me *crying laughing face emoji*
Wednesday 16 March 2016
Kiko 338 Nail Lacquer Light Lavender
Here I am with an actual beauty post! *inserts shock face emoji here*. I'm going to try and do some more beauty posts, but keep them short and snappy, so they can be posts I won't feel bad about when I only have 5 minutes to write them.
 |
| Nice cuticles Hev |
Kiko 338 nail lacquer was one of my purchases from Rome, which you can read about here. This is the first time I have worn it and I really like it. Completely different to what I normally would wear, being bluey verging on purple (great description I know). 2 coats for complete opaqueness. Nice, thick brush for application. So far so 8/10. I bought for about 1.50 euro in one of Kiko's many sales in Rome. In the UK you can find it in store or online for £2.50. Will be perfect for summer!
Lots of Love,
Hev
xoxox
Monday 14 March 2016
The Forgotten Problem with Student Loans
A different post from me today, I am going to talk about student loans. The loan system in the UK is wholly unfair to all but the rich of the world (shock horror), with the middle of students getting the worst of the deal. Students underneath the threshold can get maintenance grants and a bigger amount of loans. After the threshold, you get the minimum loan and your parents are expected to pay for you. But what, if like me, you do not have the luxury of your parents paying for you?
I get the minimum loan because my parents are over the threshold. Student loans do not take into account other siblings (which I have 4 of) and actually told my mother that a child only costs £3 a day to feed, house, cloth etc,which is quite frankly the most ridiculous thing anyone could ever say. 1 of my siblings is at university also. My parents work in the building trade, where unlike when you walk into a shop and have to pay for things there and then, you can be paid anywhere from a month to a year or more later. This means my parents have to front the cost of these jobs from their company savings and their own personal savings, which means I, my sister or any of my other 3 teenage siblings will not get a look in. Before someone says 'go get a job' I have worked since I was 16 every single weekend. When I moved away to university, I travelled the two hours home via a £30 return train (and that is with railcard) every weekend because I quite simply could not afford not to.
I took a placement year from university because I would not have been able to afford final year without it, which is the limited money I am living off now. My rent for the duration of the 4 years I have been at university has been at least £500 over, and I have lived in the both the worst and cheapest accommodation the university provides all 4 years. I also go to a 'cheap' northern university. I am also, due to having to actually live, £2,000 into my overdraft.
Not all people who are classed by student finance are 'rich', whilst not all students who are classed as poor by student finance are 'poor' (believe me).
What I am trying to say here is that the system should not be means tested. All students should be able to apply for the right amount of loan that both suits there own personal needs and their living costs by themselves. The entire system is floored, can be abused by people from all backgrounds and simply does not help those who need it the most.
There is currently a petition running to address this, please sign HERE so that it can become discussed in parliament, to try and help the future students of university in this position.
I get the minimum loan because my parents are over the threshold. Student loans do not take into account other siblings (which I have 4 of) and actually told my mother that a child only costs £3 a day to feed, house, cloth etc,which is quite frankly the most ridiculous thing anyone could ever say. 1 of my siblings is at university also. My parents work in the building trade, where unlike when you walk into a shop and have to pay for things there and then, you can be paid anywhere from a month to a year or more later. This means my parents have to front the cost of these jobs from their company savings and their own personal savings, which means I, my sister or any of my other 3 teenage siblings will not get a look in. Before someone says 'go get a job' I have worked since I was 16 every single weekend. When I moved away to university, I travelled the two hours home via a £30 return train (and that is with railcard) every weekend because I quite simply could not afford not to.
I took a placement year from university because I would not have been able to afford final year without it, which is the limited money I am living off now. My rent for the duration of the 4 years I have been at university has been at least £500 over, and I have lived in the both the worst and cheapest accommodation the university provides all 4 years. I also go to a 'cheap' northern university. I am also, due to having to actually live, £2,000 into my overdraft.
Not all people who are classed by student finance are 'rich', whilst not all students who are classed as poor by student finance are 'poor' (believe me).
What I am trying to say here is that the system should not be means tested. All students should be able to apply for the right amount of loan that both suits there own personal needs and their living costs by themselves. The entire system is floored, can be abused by people from all backgrounds and simply does not help those who need it the most.
There is currently a petition running to address this, please sign HERE so that it can become discussed in parliament, to try and help the future students of university in this position.
Subscribe to:
Posts
(
Atom
)