I don't know how but I've done it. I've survived semester 1 still relatively in tact. The last 3 months have definitely been some of the hardest of my life, being sat in the library for hours and hours is not something I enjoy by any means; but I'm hoping it will all work out in the end. The first two pieces of coursework I got back (apart from the dreaded proposal) came back with a 2:1 which I was so chuffed about and I am desperate for this to continue.
Respect is something I talked about in the last of my essays of this year and it is something I am struggling with. When does a situation become one when you're not respecting yourself by staying in it? Why don't people have the respect for you to tell you they're drop kicking you? It is an ongoing battle royale in my head and my opinion (and feelings) changes every day.
Christmas is coming! After the complete disaster of last years Christmas (thanks dad) I am hoping for a semi return to normality this year. Christmas has always been my ultimate favourite time of year. I get to exert my control freak nature over the tree, get to eat all of the pigs in blankets and dress head to toe like I should be an elf in Lapland. It's great. This is the first Christmas my dad has ever been sober for so it will be pretty interesting to see how it turns out.
I don't think I've ever said how proud I am of my dad for being sober for as long as he has. He's been parted from his one true love since the 18th February (which means when I post this it'll have been 10 months!!) and he's done an amazing job. Our relationship with each other is still extremely fractured and I am trying to work through some of my issues with him by myself, which is difficult in itself. I have 22 years of memories, feelings and disappointments to work through and to try and conquer. It is not going to be easy.
So for now I am off to start cooking our house Christmas dinner and wrap my secret santa pressie.
So if I don't blog before (which I probably won't) I hope you all have the most magical Christmas and New Year.
Lots of Love,
Hev
xoxox
