This Is Your Life Hev #2

So my blog is my little sanctuary. I can write about what is bothering me, what is pissing me off and rarely what is going right in my life and I'm quite enjoying this little roundup of my head space right now, it is so cathartic to write the absolute mental vomit that goes round my head down. I know I don't exactly have the gift of the gab in written form, or in actual day to day life but I do try.

I undertook a week of work experience in a school last week in the food department. It really made me feel completely positive that this is the career I want. I genuinely 100% want to become a food teacher, how mental is that? For the first time I fully know what I want to do and it is so nice to have a direction that I want to stick to. I know it is going to be scary and I will have to learn not to cry (I started welling up thinking about this little year 7 boy who reminded me so much of myself it hurt), but I think it will be worth it in the end. I mean, look at the holidays!

In my personal life this week it has been a complete roller coaster of emotions, I've been horrendously angry, felt deliriously happy, relieved and also like someone had sucker punched me in the stomach. It's been that kind of week. It's been the kind of week where I have had to face up to one of my biggest flaws; my inability to do anything sober me would want when drunk. We've all done it, messaging people, ringing them, snap chatting naughty pictures when plastered etc etc, but it never normally leads to you nearly sabotaging something actually quite strangely good, and then making you realise you actually care about that person way more than you admit to yourself. There were reasons for my sabotage, I was feeling hurt, angry and like I had been mugged off in front of the entire world. Jumping to instant conclusions is one of my bad points as well, coupled with the fact that I was fucking livid didn't really make for a good situation. Its all ok again now though wooooo.

But on another note, I am terrified of dogs to the point of thinking one of them might be around me makes me cry, one is currently in my house at home. It's my dads sponsors (a whole other chapter in my life that) dog, a pomeranian and is probably harmless but my brain doesn't see it like that, so I had to stay at my aunties like a little baby. One of the things I would love to do is get over my fear of dogs, because it doesn't just mess with my life it messes with everyone else's lives around me who have dogs.

I sarted writing a blog post on this when I was curled up in a ball on Friday night on my bed crying, but I am really glad that I left it until now to write some actually put together something mildly (I am rubbish at this writing malarky) coherant together.

Sorry if its been a bit depressing!

Big Love,

Hev

xoxox

The AMERICA Haul

 So yeah, comes to something when you come back from America and you need 3 pictures to fit everything in...

Sephora and Duane Reed ruined me. I'm not upset or angry, but then I'm also quite baffled that that is just how much I actually bought. 

Most of it was from a list that I set up on my notes that had been chopped and changed since February when we booked the trip, and some of the products were samples that I got from Sephora (like the 2 Nars products for my birthday, hello).

So here goes:

Covergirl Lash Blast, Clump Crusher and Tru Blend foundation.

Anastasia Dip Brow Pomade, travel brow set and Brow Wizz.

Beauty Blender.

Urban Decay Naked Concealer, All Nighter setting spray, Seven days of shadow sample and Naked Basics 2 palette.

Kat Von D travel eyeliner set, Tattoo Liner and sample of studded kiss lipstick.

Nars birthday sample of satin and velvet matte lip pencil.

Tarte Tartlette Palette.

MAC Paintpot, Velvet Teddy, Extended Play mascara and Spice lip pencil.

Becca Jaclyn Hill highlighter.

Glam Glow Mini Double Cleanse Mask.

Wet and Wild eyeshadow trio.

Physicians Formula eye pencil trio.

I think thats it!

I will eventually do a video on all of these so you can see all the products in depth and hear some thoughts on these!

Lots of Love,

Hev

xoxox

The Kiko Haul

It's been a whole month since me and Charl trotted off to Rome *sobs* and so it is about time I got off my arse and blogged about the Kiko products we brought when there.

We were staying about 5 minutes away from Termini and used it for the metro whenever we needed it, it was here that we did our damage in Kiko.

When we were there most products seemed to be on sale, which was music to my ears as I have always wanted to try some Kiko products. I ended up getting 2 lipliners, 2 lipsticks, an eyeshadow quad, 2 nail varnishes and an eyeliner. 

I have had quite the play with these and I have to say for the most part I am thoroughly impressed. The eyeshadow quad is absolutely dreamy, perfect for Autumn/ Winter. I have been majorly into a more pink based eye for a while now and this has quenched my thirst! I think this was on sale for only 5 euro (!) so if you're near a Kiko I would urge you to have a mooch if it is still around!

The lipsticks and lipliners are great, super creamy and easy to apply (especially for someone who cannot put lipliner on to save my life) and last a fair while on me. I am sure each product was under 3 euro and they all came from the SMART range. 

The nail varnishes are nice, I got a dark purple and a blue, which I don't have with me today but they apply nicely and have lasted ok for such a cheap nail varnish, which was 1.80 euro each.

The only product I am disappointed with is the eyeliner, which is in a golden colour and swatches beautifully, but this didn't transfer to the eyes as opaquely for me unfortunately.  

Have you tried any Kiko products and what would you recommend?

Lots of Love,

Hev

xoxox

Blog Issues

So I think my blog layout is distorting my images and making them look grainy and well fucking pants. Does anyone know of a good blog layout which doesn't do this to my images, as I spend some time making them look nice and then they get on my blog and it looks like a 5 year old took them blindfolded.

Has anyone any ideas?

Thanks millions!

Lots of Love,

Hev

xoxox

Everyday Makeup Tutorial

So here is the video I have attempted to upload 4 times in the past week because of the failure of google chrome!

But here it is, my first attempt in a long time at a makeup tutorial!

The editing is probably shoddy as so please bear with, but I hope you enjoy it!

Lots of Love,

Hev

xoxox

This Is Your Life Hev #1

It is currently 2am and I made the fucking monster mistake of going to sleep at 9pm (damn you body tricking me into thinking you needed sleep...) so I'm massively wide awake now. Big woop.

I'm not really sure what I want to write about now, I feel like I've been super neglectful of this blog even though I haven't posted for like a week but I have enjoyed rambling like a moody 13 year old about my life on here, I think it's been cathartic. (Look Charlotte, I'm using big words).

Lady Chatterleys Lover was a massive let down the other day, where was the sex? Where was Robb Starks penis? Don't think I will get over this. 

I am scared to weigh myself because I have absolutely no handle on my eating. I used to have a handle and now I don't. I have a gym membership I don't use and can't afford and wasted £60 on a slimming world membership that lasted for a week before my big old operation. Great time to start trying to diet eh Hev? I just want to be 9 and a half stone again, and the fact that I lost 2 stone to the great big OCD year long panic attack of 10/11 without changing my eating probably hasn't helped my attitude in the slightest. Can I get that metabolism back just without the OCD? K thnks.

Oh yes, this is the first time I've mentioned OCD on my blog and you probably think I'm a medical mess (which trust me baby, I am) but that isn't an avenue I can talk about yet. I could however probably ramble on until the cows come home just how FUCKING INFURIATING it is when people say 'oh I'm so OCD' about arranging a couple of tins in complete neat order and that is it. Please come jump into my life and discover what not just having OCD is, but what having a fucking OCD that makes you sound like a fucking nutter and isn't just about cleaning, having to chant the same sentence in your head over and over to shut your brain up because it won't stop trying to get you hurt. If anyone has or has any information about scrupulosity OCD then please come at me with it. 

Had my birthday party on Saturday, had the typical Heather O'Neill drunk as a fucking skunk piss everyone off birthday shenanigans and the hangover that has followed makes me never want to leave the house and go clubbing again. I'm 22 and I'm getting tired of it. How lame.

I'm lonely. 

For possibly the first time in my life I want a relationship and the current situation I am in isn't really healthy for me and really is not going to lead me to that end, stop trying to kid yourself girl.

I would like to stop swearing so much, but I can't.

Lots of Love,

Hev

xoxox

Back from New York

I am back from the most amazing 5 days in New York and I did some massive damage...

A haul will be soon of aaaaall I bought!

Lots of love,

Hev

xoxox