Kiko 338 Nail Lacquer Light Lavender

Here I am with an actual beauty post! *inserts shock face emoji here*. I'm going to try and do some more beauty posts, but keep them short and snappy, so they can be posts I won't feel bad about when I only have 5 minutes to write them.

Nice cuticles Hev

Kiko 338 nail lacquer was one of my purchases from Rome, which you can read about here. This is the first time I have worn it and I really like it. Completely different to what I normally would wear, being bluey verging on purple (great description I know). 2 coats for complete opaqueness. Nice, thick brush for application. So far so 8/10. I bought for about 1.50 euro in one of Kiko's many sales in Rome. In the UK you can find it in store or online for £2.50. Will be perfect for summer!

Lots of Love,

Hev

xoxox

The Forgotten Problem with Student Loans

A different post from me today, I am going to talk about student loans. The loan system in the UK is wholly unfair to all but the rich of the world (shock horror), with the middle of students getting the worst of the deal. Students underneath the threshold can get maintenance grants and a bigger amount of loans. After the threshold, you get the minimum loan and your parents are expected to pay for you. But what, if like me, you do not have the luxury of your parents paying for you?

I get the minimum loan because my parents are over the threshold. Student loans do not take into account other siblings (which I have 4 of) and actually told my mother that a child only costs £3 a day to feed, house, cloth etc,which is quite frankly the most ridiculous thing anyone could ever say. 1 of my siblings is at university also. My parents work in the building trade, where unlike when you walk into a shop and have to pay for things there and then, you can be paid anywhere from a month to a year or more later. This means my parents have to front the cost of these jobs from their company savings and their own personal savings, which means I, my sister or any of my other 3 teenage siblings will not get a look in. Before someone says 'go get a job' I have worked since I was 16 every single weekend. When I moved away to university, I travelled the two hours home via a £30 return train (and that is with railcard) every weekend because I quite simply could not afford not to. 

I took a placement year from university because I would not have been able to afford final year without it, which is the limited money I am living off now. My rent for the duration of the 4 years I have been at university has been at least £500 over, and I have lived in the both the worst and cheapest accommodation the university provides all 4 years. I also go to a 'cheap' northern university. I am also, due to having to actually live, £2,000 into my overdraft. 

Not all people who are classed by student finance are 'rich', whilst not all students who are classed as poor by student finance are 'poor' (believe me). 

What I am trying to say here is that the system should not be means tested. All students should be able to apply for the right amount of loan that both suits there own personal needs and their living costs by themselves. The entire system is floored, can be abused by people from all backgrounds and simply does not help those who need it the most.

There is currently a petition running to address this, please sign HERE so that it can become discussed in parliament, to try and help the future students of university in this position. 

Tipsy

Here I am eating adnans. Adnans does the best 'wedges' (roast potatoes) in all of the land, so if you're ever in west street Sheffield stop by. I'm tipsy. I'm not gonna lie to anyone, I'm glad I am because I have to be a fully functioning adult past 3pm tomorrow which ain't fun. I'm sure you're all wondering, what's with 2 posts in as many days? Well I just fancy it.

I hope in the world of people I know only Charl reads this. Because otherwise, how embarrassing.

I don't know whether it's just a Sheffield thing but I cannot pull anymore. The last time I flat out pulled was in Birmingham and it was 11 months ago (put 2 and 2 together who it was). This makes me sad. Maybe it's all the intake of junk. 

I want to be 9st 10 again when my life was not complete unless I pulled at least 2 boys. I think I need to sort my life out.

I hate memories, they sneak up on you like a bitch and decide to nearly destroy your night. Fuck off, I don't need memories of you anymore, you have a girlfriend now.

I'm well aware of how miserable my blog always sounds. I don't mean it to be, I'm happy literally 95% of the time. My blog is just my sad release.

People are reportedly getting robbed and nearly kidnapped around my uni area and I am not going to beat around the bush but I am terrified. Leave us all in peace you absolute scum of the fucking earth.

Even though this is the year of hev I still get hurt and I can't help it. It's involuntary hurt reflexes.

I've decided that I need some kind of memory blocker, a la men in black (great films).

I just want to feel like my 19 year old self, who gave no shits, could just look at a boy and he was mine, would never have to deal with tinder.

I think as time progresses I'm starting to realise just how much my life revolved around being fucked over for most of the last year, and as much as it hurts me I'm glad it's not still happening, even though I still want someone in my life to casually chat to so fucking bad.

I'm getting my nails done tomorrow and brows on Tuesday, hoping this will make me feel more me.

I really have nailed this spelling considering how much juice I've had.

I love you all,

Not always such a miserable fart,

Hev

xoxox

Meh

Hi, its time for another late night blog post. It seems I can't help these. I think my blog posts seem to come in that annoying little period between when you want to sleep and being awake when you start to think about life and stuff. I hate this period, I normally end up crying and thinking about all the boys who have hurt me recently, it's way sad.

So yeah let's talk about boys. I think I'm going through this thing where I block out my emotions because when I don't think about things I can just glide on by, not really making any effort to be around my emotions because they hurt. I'm annoyed with myself because I'm still not over that thing, which clearly means I was and am way more emotionally attached to it than I thought I was, and it fucking sucks. I hate that people can just move on from you in a flash, without a second thought or a backwards glance, without even a care about how you're gonna think or feel or handle it. 9 months is too long a time span for not even a goodbye.

Seeing things popping up on your Facebook feed is hard. Let's all say thanks for the delete button. The only people who would call you four times at midnight are your mom and a girl, so you're a bit of a sleeze. But hey, I'm always a fuck boy magnet.

I've been seeing people which is nice and  is a great confidence boost for me, apart from I seem to have this habit of swinging between new people and old people, which is not healthy and just not ok Hun. The emotionally void attitude works well when you're fooling around with people. What doesn't work well is old habits as they seem to not die when you get thrown into #tbt situations from two years ago, you're feeling sad and you just can't help yourself.

Since the last post there's been swings in my friendships too, some people have revealed other sides to themselves, and these sides are not nice. Some people are extremely judgemental, some people are flat out liars and some people are bloody good manipulators, it's about finding the people who aren't that. 

I'm about to walk into the last two months of uni, and I just don't want to talk about it, it's a horrible feeling both the feeling of the end and the feeling of impending doom. 

 I still can't write very coherently as you can probably tell from this. It's a work in progress. 

I think I'm just at that point where I just want somebody to love me.

Now I'm just going to go lurk people and emotionally torture myself with memories because that is just what I fancy doing.

Seeya

Hev 

xoxox

January 2016

Hello world, happy 2016!

I'm currently sat in bed hungover with a fat hallam nation stamp on my hand, debating whether or not to walk down the road (probs will drive) to KFC or not (who am I kidding? I'm hungover I'm there).

2016 started with a really nice family night, barely any drama (miracles can and do happen... occasionally), playing trivial pursuit, which amazingly momma bear won! It was also nice to get through a family evening without my dad falling asleep on the floor pissed as a fart and sounding like a dead beached whale. Thanks dads sobriety! It will have been a whole year for him next month and I'm so chuffing proud of him. I keep meaning to write a blog post about my relationship with alcohol and my dad, I have one sat in my drafts but it's something I only tend to write in when I'm crazily angry with him, which I don't think is fair to either of us. One day it will be on the bright lights of my blog!

I get a lot of hits from Russia on this blog, so whoever is reading my blog in Russia multiple times a day thank you!

The situation I've been winging and moaning about over the last few months has ended. Abruptly. When I say abruptly, I mean abruptly. It wasn't my decision but the rose tinted glasses have come off, it's been nearly a month now and I'm fine. I always knew it was a crap, draining situation to be in but rose tinted glasses make you feel like nothing is wrong and it will all work out in the end. Like my darling sister likes to tell me; "I don't understand why you have such bad luck with boys", I have no idea either. I like to think it was because I had the most perfect relationship in a past life so I am experiencing crap now in this one. I did go on a date this month, which was ok but hasn't gone anywhere, didn't think it would either.

I'm in my final semester at uni, my last coursework is in on the 22nd April and Game of Thrones is back on the 24th April (yaaaaas) which completely terrifies me, I want to graduate now but never leave uni, weird huh?

I don't think I really mention to anyone I have this blog, I know my sister reads it (hiya Charl!) but I think thats about it, and a load of strangers too. Me and my baby sis have a dairy free cooking blog shameless plug here if that interests anyone!

Overall life is pretty ok right now, I have such a solid group of pallies in Sheffield that I never want to leave. Don't make me leave uni :(

Rifampicin and Clindamycin treatment for my HS (I am not spelling that again, but I have to a blog post all about if you want to click right here) is going pretty well, apart from my periods are now a complete mess, which is apparently normal *rolls eyes because its so annoying*. I can completely live with this for 6 months to have the results I'm having (no boils in the last 3 months, I could cry with happiness).

Me posting might get even more erratic than it already is in the next few months with uni, and its 2 month cycle of doom I'm about to enter!

But for now, thanks for having a read of my blog.

Lots of love,

Hev

xoxox